23 Alcohol Puns to Make Your Texts Feel Tipsy

Puns

So many of us enjoy an alcoholic beverage now and again, right? A sweet glass of wine after a hard day at work or an ice-cold beer in the summer sun is often the best way to relax! However, joking about alcohol can be challenging. We know how fun it is to throw a joke or two around, especially when you have some alcohol in you.

Why is it so fun to joke around about alcohol and being drunk? Probably because there are so many different ways you can joke about the subject… especially when you are already tipsy! Check out the following collection of funny jokes and puns you can use when you’re out getting your drink on.

Funny alcohol pun. — What do bees and drunks both have in common? They both enjoy the buzz!

Why did the drunk call AA after he crashed his car into a lake? He forgot the third A for Triple-A car service!

Have you heard about the alcoholic psychic? He made every one of the spirits in his home disappear.
Do you know what the difference is between a stoner and an alcoholic on the road? The alcoholic runs a stop sign while a stoner sits and waits for it to turn green.

What do the small children of alcoholic parents do? They wine.

I don’t drunk text, but alcohol you instead.
Why did the bartender tell the guest that he couldn’t bring his dog into the bar? Because he knew he couldn’t hold his licker!
What do bees and drunks both have in common? They both enjoy the buzz!

Why did the alcoholic want to visit a beehive? He heard that you can get the greatest buzz there!

What do you offer a ghost that is haunting your home? Boo’s.
How can you use the cold weather to lose your buzz? Go outside with no coat and get so-brr!

What time does the Easter Bunny head to the bar? During Hoppy Hour.
Why did the alcoholic go to the gym? Because he heard that is where you can get a six-pack.
What did one beer bottle say to his spilled friend? It’s too bad you got wasted.

What can you say to an alcoholic who won’t stop complaining? Just stop wine-ing.

Can the Amish become alcoholics? Sure, if you see them fall of their wagons!
The doctor told the man he couldn’t touch anything alcoholic anymore. So he divorced his wife when he got home.

Why do you have to stand up and give your name at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting? How is that anonymous?

Funny alcohol pun about beer. — What did one beer bottle say to his spilled friend? It’s too bad you got wasted.

How do alcoholics get up a flight of stairs? By taking 12-steps at a time.
Why couldn’t the alcoholic become a lawyer after graduation? He was never able to pass the bar.

Why can’t most alcoholics never become comedians? Because they can’t stand-up long enough to make jokes!
You should always take a pitcher- it will last longer.
Whiskey versus tequila- what a spirited debate that would be!